life after baby

Who is Metro Detroit Doula Services? | Meet Kate Nagle

Kate is a special human brought to Earth to share her laughter and comfort with new families. Metro Detroit Doula Services could not be any happier to have her with us on our team. Learn more about her now!

What is your path to becoming a doula?

I became a doula after having one during the birth of my daughter. I had always known I wanted one, but I had never considered becoming one myself. After MJ was born, I explained the job to several people who pointed out that they thought I might be good at it. So I decided to jump in with both feet, no turning back!

Tell us about your family!

I am married to my lovely wife Marie and we have one 10 month old daughter, MJ. She was conceived through IVF, using my wife’s eggs and my uterus!

Marie (left), Kate, and MJ!

What are you reading now?

I’m currently reading The Game of Thrones. Because apparently I enjoy being super late to every party.

I love watching and supporting people as they navigate the first few weeks and months of parenthood whether it is their first time, or their seventh. It is such a crazy journey, and I love being part of the ride. Everyone needs a supportive, listening ear in their court, especially when going through a major life transition.

What do you love to do in your spare time?

When I have free time, which is pretty much during nap time, I love to sew. I just got a new sewing machine, so I have been breaking it in by sewing dresses for my daughter!

What is your philosophy for parenting & supporting families through their transition?

My philosophy is, when it comes to my clients, I have no philosophy besides support, support, support! I take the time to learn about their philosophies, because that is what is important. I then make sure that I do whatever I can to support them and ease their transition into a larger family.

Give us your best piece of advice to expecting parents/new families:

My best advice is to trust your instincts. And when the unsolicited advice comes too hard and fast and frequent? Let it flow in one ear and out the other. And when that advice gets too overwhelming, talk to your doula!

If we turned on the radio in your car, what would we hear?

Either the latest Broadway cast recording (currently the Anastasia cast recording) or country

What is your favorite song to karaoke?  

Summer Nights from Grease

Call us today to ask for Kate to be on your team!


Who is Metro Detroit Doula Services? | Meet Carolyn Katchka

Carolyn is a lovely addition to our team! She always has the brightest smile and truly cares about the families she works with. After many years of being a nanny, babysitting, working in daycare, and raising her own children the path of becoming a doula is a perfect fit! So let’s learn more about Carolyn!

Tell us about your family:

I’m married to my husband Case and we have 2 young sons, Jaxson and Gavin. We also have a dog and 2 cats!

Give us 3 words that describe you:

Empathetic. Supportive. Kind.

What is your favorite thing to do on a day off?

Relaxing with my family, we like to go outside and play, having game night and snuggling up to watch movies.

What is your philosophy for parenting &
supporting families through their transition?

Everyone is trying to be the best parent they can be. I view all parents in the best light and bring nothing but non-judgmental support to the table when working with families. My goal is to help provide some relief to families in an amazing time that can be a very overwhelming, beautiful, exhausting, and an emotional roller-coaster.

What is your favorite vacation?

My family LOVES to go camping and going down rivers in Northern Michigan.

What is your best advice for new/expecting families?

Try to go in with no expectations of what kind of parent you think you or your partner will be, how you think your baby will be, or rushing how soon you think they should be doing something. Always follow your gut, parental intuition is a POWERFUL thing. Ask for advice if you need help or opinions and brush them off if they’re unsolicited or are not helpful.

If we turned on the radio in your car, what would we hear?

Typically Rock music!

We are so excited and proud to have Carolyn on the Metro Detroit Doula Services team! Contact us today to request to meet her and have her be a part of your care!

End of the school year feelings

It is that time. The time when months of routine, schedule, and learning come to an end. It is the end of the school year. Whether you are cheering as a parent or anxious at the idea of adjusting to summer, no matter the feelings all of them are valid and its OK. For some the shift brings some stress as it is a new adjustment. For some it is seamless and easy.

For me I am mostly feeling excited.

There will be some challenges to adjust to I am sure. I work from home a lot. Figuring out those hours again that I can focus on work while we are all home together will be an adjustment.

But my kids are still little. They grow so fast and I swear by each day their independence increases with leaps and bounds. I want to enjoy the moments. And for the record I will focus on moments. I know I will hear, “Mom, I am bored.” “Mom can we do this? That? What about this?” I know my patience will shorten and some days I will be irritated. That is life as a parent.

But there will be days of snuggles, and sun, and play.

I will rub sunblock onto their creamy soft skin. I will get to judge them on their underwater handstands. 10’s seem to be the best answer every time! I will cut up fresh fruit to enjoy in the blistering sun. I will ride my bike alongside them setting goals to go on farther, longer, rides this summer. I will wipe dripping melted popsicle off their cheeks. I will veg out with them and watch their favorite shows. I will pop popcorn over the stove for family movie nights. I will sit out back and watch them play with the neighborhood kids. I will roast marshmallows and make smores over the bonfire. Limit 2 kids! OK maybe 3! We will read together, we will draw. We will run through the sprinkler and slide down the slip-n-slide. I will let them stay up late and sleep-in in the morning. I will have mornings of homemade pancake breakfasts, and others of quick cereal.

I want to embrace this summer. We may never get around to making those cute summer bucket lists. We may not spend enough time outside. We may have lazy days. We may have boring days. We may have busy days. But we will do them together.

As the school bus makes its final stop for the year I may cry. Tears of joy that we get a little time more together. Tears of “I can’t believe how much and how fast they are growing.” Then I will offer my hand to my girls, see if I get to hold one of theirs one last time home. Then we will embark on our remarkable summer.

Authored by: Andrea Stainbrook

Dogs and bringing home baby

I remember when we got our oldest dog, George. My husband and I were young and had just moved across the country from Michigan to Arizona. Together we walked through the aisles of the shelter looking in every kennel. From barking faces, jumping paws, and puppy dog eyes we noticed him. Curled up and looking at us like, “I know right? These other dogs are loud!” There was George.

We took him for a walk outside and he was perfect. Chill, medium-sized with a funky tail that looked like it never fully grew. We were smitten and that was it. We took him home.

We quickly added a basset hound, Jerry, to our family as well. He was the sweetest and had the deepest howl.

Years passed and we discovered our first baby was on its way! With these two pups and the new pregnancy also came feelings of, “what will it look like to have a baby and the dogs?” “Will my dogs get along with the baby?” “How will I take care of everyone?”

Having a baby shifts your whole world period. Every aspect of your what you consider part of your daily life before your child arrives is affected. So it is normal to be concerned about your fur-babies as well. It is OK to process your feelings on the changes about to happen. And it is realistic to worry about your pet’s transition and adjustment as well.

So set your dog up for success!

While you are still pregnant you can have some of the baby items out and around. This way they visually start seeing their surroundings change. If you have a dog that doesn’t roll with change much (some dogs will bark at the furniture after you moved it) this may be an important step. Baby gear tends to appear in every room!

You can try to have your dog get familiar with your baby’s smell even before you arrive home. Have a visitor take the newborn hat or receiving blanket that your newborn has been in home to your dogs. Let them smell and inspect it.

Set up positive associations with your baby!

Have treat bowls throughout the house, especially near places where you will be lounging with your baby often. When your dog comes near your baby give them a treat!

BABY = GOOD

Did your baby kick your dog on accident when it stretched out its leg? Doggy gets some cheese! A nice high reward!

Have care in place for your pet.

Once you are home you may want to hire a dog walker, schedule extra doggy day care visits, or take advantage of helpful friends and family to give your dog extra love and exercise. A tired dog is a happy dog. On top of that your attention is now split so they get some extra cuddles in.

Life after baby is an adjustment. This means for the WHOLE family including your dogs. Most dogs are loving, understanding, and adjust just fine. Some even seem to take on a protective role over your baby. It’s beautiful to watch your children grow and become dog lovers themselves. There is something so magical about the relationship we have with our pets, and its awesome to share that with our babies.

Written by Andrea Stainbrook

Guest blog: Moving with a growing family

When life changes, most people tend to make a move.  One reason moving occurs is usually because your family is growing.  So whether you are expecting your first child, or your fourth, your needs from a home will change too.   You have to think about what kind of childhood you envision your children to have. Size, budget and location are all important things when thinking about the future of your family.

When thinking about your future home, you have to think about timing. Did you want to move into a home before you have children and grow into it, or did you want to buy a home after you have kids. No answer is right, it depends on your preference.   If you bought a home before kids, you will not have to worry about moving when you’re busy learning how to be parents.    It will give first time parents a sense of security and comfort while learning how to parent their new bundle of joy.

 If you chose to wait till after you have kids to move, you will have a better sense of how you parent and what is important to you as a parent.  Whether you value the school systems, open-concept floor plans to keep an eye on the kiddos or even storage space. You can get to know what your needs and desires are after having children to have a better idea of what your new home has to offer you before you buy.

Here are some important tips to remember when moving with your babies!

Before your make the move:  Stick to a routine. 

Do not let moving and packing get in the way of your regular routines. Create a moving calendar to achieve small goals when packing.  Take it day by day and try to spread out packing over a period of time instead of in a few days.   If you decide you want or have to pack up quickly, use childcare. When boxes and furniture are being carried in and out, keep the kids safe with trusted professionals or family members.

Pack a suitcase that will include your daily needs for at least 3-4 days.  This way you know where to access diapers, pacifiers, toys, clothes, food, and blankets.  It may take you a while to unpack or to find these things in boxes.  Utilize a suitcase to keep these important things in one area that is easily accessible. 

When you’re moving in: Unpack the child’s room first, so they have a safe place to sleep that feels familiar.

You’re going to want to have a safe space for your baby when unpacking is being done.  Small furniture pieces, and other tools will be in use during the first few days.  Parents are going to want to baby proof the home as soon as possible. Parents, learn about your new home as much as possible. Check windows, locks, alarms, secure dangerous things right away when unpacking such as cleaning products, medicines, and tools. You will also want to ensure that the flooring is safe as far as sharp staples or nails coming out of the carpet.

Now that you moved in: Enjoy your new life with your family. 

Get ready to watch your child grow and explore in the life that you envisioned for them.

Guest blog by Ariel Radtke, Real Estate Agent

Ariel is familiar with transitions and the challenges of family life while moving. She has a great energy and will help you along the way. Check out her website to learn more about Ariel and what she has to offer!
https://arielradtke.kw.com/

The benefits of a pacifier

by Andrea Stainbrook

There are so many decisions to make regarding caring for your baby. You as the parent truly know what makes the most sense to you and what you are comfortable with. One tool getting a bad rap lately are pacifiers. When parents find themselves using them some don’t want to admit it even! While yes everything has benefits and risks, it seems the benefits of pacifiers aren’t really be talked about anymore. So let’s dive in!

Let’s start out by talking the real negatives of pacifier use. It seems a common belief with those trying to nurse is that you should not introduce a pacifier. Have you heard of “nipple confusion?” Did you know this doesn’t exist?! Babies can develop flow preferences (milk that comes out easily of a bottle nipple but the baby has to work hard at the mother’s breast), but they aren’t confused. In regards to breastfeeding, pacifiers may damage a nursing relationship in instances where the pacifier is being used to replace a feeding or to delay feedings. In these cases you may cause a reduction in the amount of milk being produced because the baby isn’t stimulating the breasts.

Other negatives of pacifier use can include an increased risk of ear infections in babies older than 6 months, and/or orthodontic problems with babies 18 months and older who suck for more than 4-6 hours daily.

So those are the risks. Why would you use a pacifier? Some babies simply have an insatiable need to suck. Many babies want to suck for non-nutritive reasons. It can be soothing to them. But did you ever think about the benefits? That’s right, pacifiers can be good!

The benefits of pacifier use:

Reduced risk of SIDS up to one year of age.

Calms the baby

In premature babies comfort sucking has been linked to shorter NICU stays

Baby’s pulse slows

Strengthens the baby’s sucking ability

Reduces crying

Many parents want all the tools to help them soothe their babies. Pacifiers are simply one tool.

Pro-tip:

Introduce the pacifier during a time when the baby is content. Most of us try to offer the pacifier to our babies when they are upset and inconsolable. If you were upset and someone kept shoving this rubber thing in your mouth you would be like, “what are you doing? Get that away!!!” What if every time you were were upset someone shoved that rubber thing in your mouth? You would associate that rubber object with your frustration.

Instead when your baby seems happy gently introduce the pacifier. First stroke your baby’s cheek with it. Then try rubbing it along its lips. You can even talk upbeat to your baby while you do this. While your baby is still happy barely insert the pacifier into your baby’s mouth. If your baby is in the mood to suck she will likely suck it right into her mouth and give it a go! Keep introducing the pacifier during these content times to get your baby used to it as a tool. The next time she is upset and you offer the pacifier after these introductions, she will likely be happy to use this tool to settle her need to suck!

All tools and items we use to care for our little ones come with pros and cons. Pacifiers can be good and have their own set of benefits.

Metro Detroit Doula Services

Contact us to learn more!

(Resource 1, Resource 2)

It’s their birthday and I’ll cry if I want to

by Andrea Stainbrook

1 year. When your baby turns one there is a roller coaster of emotions. Often we feel happy. What a thing to celebrate! One orbit around the sun completed! But sometimes it feels bittersweet and brings you to tears.

Babies do so many milestones in that first year. Sitting up. Crawling. Eating. Some may walk. First smile. First laugh. First poopy blow out. So many moments to cherish!

The first year is also has its hard moments. Take time to congratulate yourself on getting through the more difficult parts. Some nights your were surely more awake than blissfully asleep dreaming. Sometimes your baby cried. Just cried. And all you could do was hold her close and let your warmth hopefully calm her. You put baby first and yourself second often. Normal, and totally ok. But that means you likely spent some days in pajamas…the same pajamas you wore yesterday.

The first year means you became a parent.

You know what it is like to be able to burst into tears just thinking about the love for your baby. You know what it is like to be selfless and altruistic. You know what is it like to see hope and joy for new life. You know so many more children songs than ever before. Those suckers get stuck in repeat in your brain, don’t they? “Baby shark do do do do do do!” You understand your kiddo so much more than anyone else. You hear their language and understand their needs. You are a superhero. And your baby loves you more than anything. You are your baby’s world.

The days are long but the years are short. This sentence likely speaks volumes to you. So as you celebrate one marvelous year of life with your favorite little human, let yourself feel. Feel the happiness, or cry if you want to. No matter what you’re feeling it can be fun to dream up a fantastic celebration or maybe simply snuggle close as a family. Happy birthday to your baby! Now go embrace that sweetie pie and dream of the next year ahead!

New Mom in Metro Detroit Seeking Friend

by Andrea Stainbrook

Hello! I am a new mom looking for a friend, likely another new mom, to share this journey with. While taking a break from my busy work life, I am now busy being a parent to young children. Instead of waking up early to squeeze in some gym time, I am up early squeezing diaper cream on a fresh angry rash.

I am looking for someone who is good at patching together stories over the phone that are broken up between calming hungry cries and hollerin’ “gentle hands on the doggie’s tail!” I like to do outings and am open to playdates, or perusing Target while pushing our strollers.

I am over all the judgement and guilt online and looking for real life connection. Can we just be real with each other as we are doing our best to be the best we can? I will pour us each some tea and we can just share what our days are.

I love getting brunch but with the baby it is sometimes easier to get it delivered. Let’s get together and order meals in!

Let’s face it, motherhood can be lonely sometimes. Let’s be friends!

Becoming a mom is a wonderful but tough job! What would your “friend ad” say? Go on try it….New Mom Seeking……