Decisions. Parenting (as well as life in general) seems comprised of decision after decision. It starts in pregnancy and will continue. Some are easy, most are not. You want to make a well thought out choice. What to do when you are at a crossroads? As a doula I remind my clients to use their brain. Well that one and this one – B.R.A.I.N..
This acronym is handy when making all of life’s decisions. Let’s take a moment and think about being in labor perhaps, a truly difficult time to make decisions. It can be a vulnerable time and our brains may not be crisp. Things are going along much like you expected and then something comes up! Now you don’t know what to do and you feel like you need to make the best choice. You and your partner can look to your doula and she will walk you through B.R.A.I.N.:
Taking a moment to walk through and weigh out everything involved will likely lead you in a clear direction and will certainly make you feel more confident about your choice.
B- What are the benefits?
R- What are the risks?
A- What are the alternatives?
I- What is my intuition telling me?
N- What if I do nothing?
So in this labor scenario, when you are presented with a choice you are not sure about you can turn to your doula. (“She’ll meet you at the crossroads…so you won’t be lonely…crossroads, crossroads”- Sung exactly like Bone Thugs.) She can help you answer what the benefits and risks are. You can discuss the alternatives with her. She will ask you what your intuition is telling you and how you are feeling about it. Your doula will always remind you to ask, “What if I do nothing?” (Often waiting and revisiting the option later is okay to do.) Then you and your partner can discuss together and decide which option suits you.
Many times we are comparing apples to apples. There aren’t always clear choices. With your doula to listen and guide you with this tool or you walk through the steps yourself, you will know that the decision made was yours. Being active as part of the decision making process is a positive step to a more satisfying experience.
This also comes in handy in all of life’s decisions. Maybe you are deciding on a color for the nursery; Blue Grey or Green Grey? Is beige in now? Maybe you are at the vet and deciding on care for your puppy. Use B.R.A.I.N.!
So whether you are pregnant, in labor and it pertains to your health, dealing with a parenting choice, or you just don’t know where to go for dinner tonight…just use your B.R.A.I.N.!
By: Andrea Stainbrook