From the moment you get a positive test, your dreams and hopes for this new baby comes to life in thoughts of the future, planning, and expectation. On the other side, you may never get a positive test, or you have had children and now it isn’t working; that all comes with it’s own weight of disappointment and discouragement.
Miscarriage, loss, and infertility are trying times for all families. When we come face to face with our deepest feelings, it can actually be a lonely place and feel like no one can truly relate. Many will try to cheer you up, give positive spins on the situation and say well intentioned statements to you because they want to try to help you feel happy again. However, dismissing or shoving away our feelings doesn’t help us deal with our pain.
Your feelings are real.
Infertility|Bereavement|Loss|Miscarriage
In-Person Groups & Websites –
- National Fertility Support Center – Kentwood, MI
- Huron Valley – Riley Katheryn Foundation
- Beaumont – Miscarriage/infant Bereavement
- Henry Ford West Bloomfield group
- Friends Supporting Parents
- Hope Mommies (Faith based)
- Sufficient Grace Ministries (Faith based)
- Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (Infant Loss Photography)
- Still Birthday
- Custom Calvin’s Cupcakes Remembrance Graphics
- Your Fertility Friend: Resources
- Maryville University’s article on Postpartum Depression
Counselors –
- Detroit Counseling Collective – Brooke Stone
- Embracing Life Counseling – Laurette Lipman
- Tina Gutman, LMSW
- Laurel Hicks
- BetterHelp- http://www.BetterHelp.com
Books –
- A Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy When Your Baby’s Life is Expected to Be Brief by Amy Kuebelbeck
- Celebrating Pregnancy Again: Restoring the lost joys of pregnancy after the loss of a child by Franchesca Cox
- Not Pregnant by Cathie Quillet (Infertility)
- Sufficient Grace by Kelley Gerken
- Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Infant Loss by Sherokee Ilse
- I’ll Hold You In Heaven by Jack Hayford
Online support recommendations from fellow moms we know:
- Resolve – The National Infertility Association
- The Bump miscarriage/pregnancy loss board
- Facebook group: Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Infant Loss – 3.4K members
- Metro Detroit Share
If you or a loved one is in search of an addiction resource, here is a great one that searches each state.
Grieving family members usually find it helpful to continue talking about the situation as much as needed, as often as needed and allowing themselves to feel the full range of their emotions. It’s ok to be both happy and sad at the same time, there is nothing wrong in that.
It can also be healing to do something special to honor your baby like a dedicated memorial stone at the zoo, planting a tree, create a blog or a website, celebrating birthdays, holding on to mementos, also wearing pins, getting tattoos, or applying car stickers of remembrance can help to heal as well.
Sending out virtual hugs those of you in this spot, dealing with life’s unfairness and processing that our worlds will forever be changed or missing something.
If you have something you feel would be beneficial to add to the list above, please let us know by commenting below.