Did you watch the Disney movie “Inside Out”? There is one scene that as a doula resonates with me. The character Sadness sits down next to Bing Bong after his magical rocket is lost forever. Bing Bong is clearly upset. Joy tries to cheer him up. But Sadness… Sadness listens to him. Just listens. She sees him upset and starts with, “I’m sorry that they took your rocket. They took something that you loved. It’s gone…..forever. ” Then as Bing Bong opens up she asks questions about the fun he and Riley had on that rocket. Sadness lets Bing Bong feel his feelings. By letting him feel his sadness and talk about it she validated his feelings. A warm embrace and then Bing Bong felt a little better and was able to continue the journey.
This is important to doulas. This is a role we strive to provide. Not to be “Sadness” per se but to be support that hears you . We don’t believe you should be a certain way, we just want you to be. We do not tell you how to feel, we let you feel.
This transcends our doula life and is useful in all relationships. Parenting, friendships, relatives. Sadness has it right:
That movie has such great lessons to all ages on communication and emotions. We thank Sadness for being her. Let us support you and be your listening ear!