I don’t want to have sex. Is this normal?

One pregnancy symptom that can surprise some pregnant women is a lack of desire to have sex.

Pregnancy changes our bodies in so many ways. With the hormone changes, and other pregnancy symptoms you may find yourself not wanting to get it on. This can be a bummer for you, or surprising to your partner too. But know it is OK and should eventually pass.

What causes a sex drive to disappear in pregnancy?

Hormones can be a tricky thing in pregnancy. Those pesky pregnancy hormones, like estrogen and progesterone for example, can play a role in ebbing and flowing your sexual desire. Emotions always come into play as well. Depending on what you are encountering and processing during this time it may impede any naturally occurring uptick in libido. Let’s not forget all the unpleasant pregnancy symptoms. It is tough being pregnant. You may feel nauseous just thinking about certain foods. The smells. Oh goodness just the right, or should I say wrong smell can have you running for the toilet. Then there is back pain. Aches and pains in different places. Sleeping is tough so now you’re tired all the time. All of those things are enough to squash any desires of romping between the sheets.

When will I notice a decrease in my sex drive?

This varies. The first trimester can be hard on those who experience many pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness and fatigue. If those symptoms are more severe it may dampen your interests even further. For some they may not lose any desire in the first trimester. They may even have an increased libido. As the second trimester comes things seem to level off for a little bit and those who felt that increase and they may notice things shift the other direction. That being said, those who felt awful during the first trimester may be finding relief from their pregnancy symptoms in the second trimester and may now be ready to get it on! The 3rd trimester can bring an upswing again for some. But with new aches and pains, swelling, and having a heavy large belly some just don’t wanna.

Tips for those with a decrease in their sex drive.

Know you are not alone. It is super normal to have these dips during pregnancy. Things will change and you won’t be stuck having no desire forever. Talk to your partner about your feelings too. They want you to feel your best and should be understanding that pregnancy can change normal routines. If you don’t want to have sex come up with ideas to connect and be intimate in other ways. Maybe massage! Or take turns drawing things on each other’s backs with your fingers having your partner guess what you are drawing. Get creative or just snuggle and chit chat about what lies ahead.

Like all things in pregnancy and parenthood there are many phases and changes. Having your sex drive wax and wane is normal and common.

Authored by Andrea Stainbrook

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